I Like Turtles

    Every year, numerous designers are indirectly inspired by turtles.  We've all worn a turtle neck at one point or another, but I'm not talking about the turtle neck.  No, I am talking about a more extreme sense of Turtle Haute Couture.   I don't factually know if these turtle designs are indirect, but I couldn't image that design studios looks like this:

   Disturbing, at best.  Anyway, every year the runways are flooded with designs that for what ever reason resemble turtles.  I never knew that only seeing the top of my head was sexy, but I guess it will save on lip gloss costs. 

      Above we have this sexy, extreme turtle neck look by Sam Frenzel.  First off, I don't hate this look, I actually think it's kind of funky in a space-winter galaxy.  However, I live on Earth and although we have winter, we typically can't get away with Space-Turtle winter fashion.  Second,  the model seems really bothered by having to wear this.  Her eyes are literally red, which could mean something completely different, but in this circumstance it's definitely anger laced with shame.  Finally, the only real problem I have with this Turtle-Space coat is that things would fall in the top.  Literally, I would get home open my coat and snow or leaves would just plop out.  Other than that I would totally wear this, I'm not sure where yet, but I would.

   This is another look by Sam Frenzel, yes, this man loves turtles.  Even the necklace just screams turtle shell.  Unlike the last look, however, this look gets major kudos for its hair hole.  Thank you Sam for realizing that not only do I want to look Turtlish but that my hair cannot be tamed.  Thank you. 

   While researching this turtle epidemic, I found this thrilling article that helped put things in perspective:

   If you haven't picked up this issue of the Weekender, stop everything that you're doing.  Forget that you have a job, a family, or even a life.  You're mission is to find this article and read it and once you do, you will be ready for greatness.
     Once I had opened my mind to except this Turtle-Chic style, I discovered what could only be described as Turtle Fashion Nirvana.

   Yes, what you have just viewed, this blessing for your eyes, is truly the definition of design.  Not only would it make you appear athletic, strong, and warrior-like, you would could also sleep comfortably and out-dress anyone.   If you are Sam Frenzel, I apologize, I should have put some warning that this post was about to blow your mind.  Next time Sam, you'll get 'em next time.
All and all this whole Turtle Friendly Fashion gets one big:

And that's the truth.